May 23, 2012

Advice on adult sex toys (myths)

For many of us, our closest experience with adult sex toys has been to watch their use on adult films.  One of the most popular adult film is the sixteen. While the actors using them look like they are having a good time using them, we scarcely give a thought about using them ourselves or trying them out.

One of the reasons we may have not thought about using adult sex toys is because of the many misconceptions about them and their use.  Here are some of the more popular myths about adult sex toys and the truth behind them.

Myth:  Sex toys are for people who do not have a healthy sex or social life

While sex toys and electric vibrators can and do provide a safe alternative to sex with multiple partners, sex toys are used by people and couples who want to spice up their sex lives or try something different.  Sex toy usage in fact is quite common with research showing that people who have sex use adult sex toys more than those who do not have sex.

Myth: Sex toys are only for masturbation

A popular misconception is that adult sex toys are mainly used for self gratification.  The ubiquitous presence of the vibrator and the dildo in adult films may have something to do with this misconception.  The truth is that sex toys are not limited to dildos or vibrators.  Sex toys also include adult novelties such as edible underwear, feathers, costumes and other props which can be used in playing out fantasy scenarios.

Myth:  There is no place for sex toys in a healthy sexual relationship

This is not true.  In fact adult sex toys and novelties do help in creating and nurturing a healthy sexual relationship between two loving people.  It provides something different to reignite a waning sex life and it also provides a way in which two people can deepen their intimacy by playing out and fulfilling their sexual fantasies.

Myth:  Buying sex toys can be an embarrassing experience

One can acquire jelly vibrators, sex toys and adult novelties online and in the privacy of one’s own home if one feels too embarrassed to browse through the selection of an adult novelty store.  Products ordered from reputable website are delivered right to one’s home wrapped in discrete brown paper so that others do not have an idea on what is being delivered.

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How to take care of your dildo

Let’s talk about the most ubiquitous of all “woman” sex toys—the dildo.  Realistic vibrating dildos are phallus-shaped sex toys meant for penetration into the vagina or the rectum.  These toys have been around for centuries and have changed little in purpose and shape except in the types of materials they used.  In times past, dildos could be made of polished wood, stone, marble, or glass.  Nowadays synthetic materials such as plastics, silicone and even materials which feel like real skin have been used in making these sex toys.  These sex toys now also contain small motors which allow the toy to vibrate for that extra “buzz”.

No matter the type of materials they are made of or whether they vibrate or not, they all require care in order to allow them to perform the function for which they were designed properly and safely.  Here are some tips you can use to take care of your dildo.

No matter the type of dildo you have, you will have to keep it clean.  This is not only a thing one has to do in order to make sure your toy remains in good working order but it is also a measure you should undertake to avoid contracting disease or infection.  A dildo is meant to be inserted into the vagina or the anus.  These parts of the body often do contain microorganisms and bacteria which can be harmful to people.

How you clean your toy depends on the type of material it is made of.  For most cases, washing your toy with warm soap and water will do the trick.  Wash your toy every time after you use it.  If your toy has batteries or contains a small motor, make sure you take off the batteries first and do not allow the battery compartment or the part with the remote vibrator motor to get wet.  Never submerge a toy which runs on batteries or electricity.

There are commercially prepared sex toy cleaners available in the market.  Keep in mind however that some cleaners which can be oil-based can damage the surface of some toys made of plastic or silicone.  It would be a safe bet to get something water-based in order to minimize your chances of damaging the toy.

Never keep used batteries inside your toy for extended periods of time.  If you do not plan to use your dildo for an extended duration, make sure you remove the batteries before you put your toy away.

Follow these tips to ensure your toy keeps on giving you the sexual satisfaction you need for a long time.

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Blow up dolls for women

When it comes to sex toys, the objects most known to be used by women are vibrators, dildos and Ben Wa balls.  Blow up dolls are usually considered a sex toy used by men.  There is however, such a thing as a womens blow up doll.

The womens blow up doll is a life size representation of a human male.  Usually made of rubber just like jelly vibes or some other stretchable material, it is inflated with air before it is to be used.  These dolls usually come with a detachable penis made of plastic or firmer material suitable for anal or vaginal penetration.  Just like blow up dolls for males these sex toys meant for women are meant as masturbation aids and to add a little more realism to playing out one’s fantasies alone.

Although this can add a certain degree of realism to a woman’s solo session, most blow up dolls for women have rudimentary facial and body details.   It is still one’s imagination that will mostly help you go where you want to go.

Some couples use love dolls to keep the faith in long distance relationships.  Being away from a loved one for long periods of time does not mean that one will cease to have sexual urges that need to be satisfied.  The use of blow up dolls can be a safe, disease and guilt-free alternative for sexual gratification for couples who are forced to be away from each other.  When together, these sex toys can also serve as a prop for role playing or other sexy games the couple can play to add a little spice and novelty to their intimate sessions. Also an alternative way when your partner is away, and an alternative for any classic vibes.

Besides sexual gratification, these sex toys are meant as party gags and humorous presents for bridal showers or hen parties.  Giving a blow up doll to the bride to be can be a cheap, guilt-free alternative to the usual and traditional events that happen during these types of celebrations.

Other uses have also been found for male blow up dolls.  Recently they have found use as confidence aids to women who drive alone.  The male blow up doll is inflated and put in the passenger seat of the car.   The presence of the doll is meant to make women less nervous when they drive through dark streets alone.

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Sex Toys UK

Some countries do not allow sex toys. UK residents, Japanese citizens and other countries, on the other hand have it better as the existence of sex toys and fun vibes are tolerated and sold very openly.

This is particularly true in Japan.  The sex toy industry in that country is a booming business with a range of products that will boggle the mind.  There are vending machines available on the streets which dispense anything from a tiny scantily clad anime-based figure to cock rings and vibrators.

India, on the other hand has outlawed and banned sex toys.  This factoid becomes remarkable when you remember that the oldest and most popular sex manual, the Kama Sutra, was written in and written by Indians.  Sex toys are mentioned in the Kama Sutra as there are references to realistic vibrating dildos and life-size wooden dolls used during sex.  Despite the ban, sex toys are sold underground and seems to be a thriving industry estimated to value at about $107 million a year.

Even in the United States not all states allow the purchase or selling of sex toys.  Some southern states such as Alabama and Texas have banned and prohibited sex toys which are considered “obscene devices”.  Besides Alabama and Texas, Mississippi, Georgia and Virginia also have laws which for not allow sex toys in their state.   The reasoning behind these pieces of legislation seems to be that the state has the right to regulate these devices as there is no fundamental right for a person to buy a device to produce orgasm.  Advocates of sex toys on the other hand have argued that interference by the State on the use of these devices violates the constitutional right to privacy.

This also is astonishing since the US has projected itself as a bastion of freedom.  In these States, it is legal for one person to purchase a gun and illegal to purchase sex toys.  UK residents, Japanese citizens and other countries seem to enjoy a greater amount of freedom as regards this aspect.

The National Association for Sexual Awareness and Empowerment, a US based organization advocating the freedom to distribute and sell sex toys state that the ban on these devices stems from the ignorance of law makers on hot to use sex toys and vibrators, their effects, and stereotypes.  The NSAE continues to work towards lifting the ban on sexual devices in these states.

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Choosing the right sex toy for couples

Choosing the right sex toy for you and your partner can be a daunting one.  There is a lot of sex toys online and in the market, like waterproof vibrators.  With the overwhelming number of choices available, how do you know which is the best choice for the both of you?  You do want him or her to enjoy the experience as much as you did, after all.

Assuming that both of you are already comfortable about the idea of using sex toys during your intimate moments together, the best way is to ask him or her, what type of sex toy he or she would like.  When it comes to what he or she would enjoy when it comes to sex, your partner is still the best judge.  He or she may have a secret fantasy she or he has not yet divulged to you yet.

If this is your first time to use a sex toy or are hesitant about asking him or her point blank what toy your partner would prefer, keep in mind the role of foreplay.  Foreplay is about stimulating and sexually arousing your partner to get him or her ready for the main event.   Strap on vibrators are a good starting point for this.  These vibrators have a strap to keep the toy in place leaving your hands free to touch and stimulate the other erogenous zones of your or your partner’s body.

Should both of you prefer vaginal penetration but want that extra buzz, cock rings with clitoral stimulators attached may be the choice for you.  Cock rings are elastic rings meant to be worn at the base of the penis.  This serves to keep the blood in the tissues of the penis from flowing back to the body resulting in a prolonged erection and an engorged feeling.  There are cock rings with protrusions or small vibrators attached which stimulate your partner’s clitoris or anus during penetration.

Do you prefer to give more than receive?  Do you get aroused watching your partner get off from what you are doing to him or her?  Then a sex toy which you could manipulate is something you should think of getting.  There are vaginal and anal dildos which you can use on your partner during your sack sessions.  You and your partner’s preference or your knowledge of his or her preference would dictate as to what size, color and material it is made of.  One rule of the thumb though, when using toys meant for penetration:  use adequate lubrication.  Regular discharge from the vagina may not be adequate as some materials absorb these fluids making the use of the toy uncomfortable at the least.

Choosing the right sex toy for you and your partner is about self knowledge and knowledge about what arouses your partner.  Keep this in mind and you won’t go wrong.

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The Truth About G Spot

Dr. Ernst Grafenberg, an obstetrician, gave birth to a popular spot in women. It is found inside the vagina, in the ventral portion. The genitalia of females and males are sensitive parts. But in these parts are tissues more sensitive than others. In females, the clitoris and the so-called G-Spot are the most sensitive to touch and stimulation. Other women do touches their spot through the help of g spot vibes and sex toys.

During sexual intercourse, the stimulation of these areas is believed to cause a woman to arrive at a climax. But more women agree that stimulating the Grafenberg Spot causes more intense feelings and more sensational climaxes. This zone is about two to three inches deep in the anterior portion of the vagina. This location, however, varies from female to female.

Stimulating the area may be more difficult than it seems. Penile penetration may not actually touch the area sometimes. So a male may opt to insert his lubricated fingers instead. Or a better way may be through sex toys. There are devices that may be used to reach the controversial region. Realistic vibrating dildos and vibrators may well do the trick. Some vibrators are curved in a way that they may be able to touch and give some appreciable stimulation to the spot.

It is important to remember when doing insertions into the vagina that proper lubrication be done. This organ is lined with delicate tissue that may suffer from laceration if non-lubricated insertions are made. When doing insertions with the use of fingers or dildos or vibrators, these objects must be lubricated first.

Many anatomy experts believe that the counterpart of the G Spot in males is the area in the rectum near the prostate gland. In females, this extremely sensitive zone is surrounded with thick tissue which becomes engorged in blood when excited. Because the spot is engulfed in dense tissue, a sufficient penetration and stimulation may be necessary to bring noticeable sensations. In some women, however, the stimulation in the area seems to yield no change in sensations. Some do not even feel the difference. Some feel like urinating upon the stimulation of the area. Nevertheless, the G Spot is an important spot during moments of intimacy.

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How to use sex toys with a partner

So you want to take your intimate moments with your special one to the next level?   The use of sex toys and vibrators can help do this for you.  Here are some tips on how to use sex toys with your partner.

For many who have never used sex toys and fun vibes before, the idea of using these objects in their sack sessions may be daunting.  So the first step is to convince your partner that couple’s sex toys could make a spectacular time with him or her even better.  A good tactic would be to encourage his or her participation in your search for the perfect sex toy for the both of you.  Allowing him or her to participate in the selection process will allow your partner to choose a toy that will not intimidate him or her, making him or her more open to the prospect of using these toys during your quality time together.  Moreover, it will save you a whole lot of guesswork in trying to figure out what toy he or she would be most turned on by.

Another tip on how to use sex toys with a partner is to go slow.  You do want the experience to be as pleasurable for your partner as it is for you.  This is not only because of genuine affection or love for him or her but also because you do want the experience to be repeated.  It is of course common sense that a person would be more willing to repeat undergoing a pleasurable experience than a bad one.  For instance if the toy vibrates like remote vibrating and has a variable speed setting, try putting it at the lowest level first and asking him or her where he or she wants the toy placed.  If the toy both of you acquired is meant for penetration, it would be wise to engage in your regular foreplay first to put him or her at ease and to use adequate lubrication.

Make sure your partner knows that he or she should voice out any discomfort he or she feels.  And when he or she does so, stop using the toy.  On the other hand, he or she should also let you know if it feels good so that you can proceed.  If the toy is being used on you, let your partner know too, what works and what does not.

Should it be all systems go, there is nothing left but to fully immerse yourself and enjoy the experience.

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Female toys

I never gave using female toys like jelly vibrators a thought in my sessions in the sack with my wife until I stumbled onto her dildo when I was digging for a spare towel in her closet.

Seeing that dildo in her closet triggered certain insecurities about my ability to pleasure her, the frequency of our intimate moments, and my sexual prowess.  It took me sometime to gather enough courage to ask her about it and her reaction to my question surprised me—she laughed!

Seeing my disconcert at her reaction and feeling my discomfort about her use of female toys like classic vibes she tenderly raised her hand to my face and said with love in her eyes, “I use that when I miss you, darling.  Your job as a salesman takes you away from me for long periods of time and I do miss making love to you so I do the next best thing.”

Her answer reassured me a little but did not serve to completely soothe my feelings of inadequacy.  She sensed this and added, “A toy like that could never replace the real thing with you.  Do you want me to prove it?”

And with a twinkle in her eye, she took my hand and led me to the bedroom.

As we were both recovering and enjoying holding each other close in the afterglow, I realized some things.  A mere toy could never provide her the intimacy making love with me gives.  There is an emotional connection when I make love to my wife.  That connection could never be made with an inanimate toy.  Seeking affirmation about my epiphany I asked her about it.

With the infinite patience of a person who truly loves another she looked at me and said, “I could never hug a toy and it cannot kiss me back.  I need sexual release just as you do and when you are away, the dildo serves the purpose.   When you’re around I don’t even think about it.”

What I said next surprised even myself, “Could I see how you use it?”

After that night, female toys started playing a greater role in my sex life with my wife.  I rediscovered how it was such a turn on for me watching my wife get aroused and orgasm as I used or manipulated the sex toys to prolong her pleasure.  Needless to say our love making became more intense and we did it more often than before.  I even purchased a finger vibrators for her after she saw it behind an adult novelty store window and wondered aloud how it worked.  It worked wonders as far as I was concerned and I do not hear any disagreements from her either.

Female toys will never replace the real thing with someone you love.  In fact they can even help already special moments with your partner get even better!

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How to introduce your partner to extreme sex toys

Extreme sex toys and vibrators are adult novelties and gadgets which are usually used for bondage and sexual play.  Curious about trying them out but don’t quite know how to let your partner know?  Here are some tips you can follow to get you closer to making your sexual fantasies come true.

First thing you should do is to be forthright about your sexual fantasies or what you want to happen during sex with your partner.  How will you be able to try out new things if you do not tell her or him in the first place?  The secret to getting his or her consent  is how you communicate your thoughts and fantasies.  Avoid sounding like you are complaining about the quality of sex you are having with your partner.  A better angle is that you want to try out different ways to doing already great sex with him or her.

Once you have acquired his or her consent there are a few more things the both of you should agree to before you start trying out extreme sex toys and fun vibes.  For instance, sexual bondage play inevitably involves restraining your partner or being restrained.  Thus, the both of you have to agree on how you want to be restrained.  It would also be timely to agree on what activities of sexual bondage the both of you will engage in.

Another word of advice when it comes to restraints:  Make sure the restraints you use can be easily and quickly removed in case of an emergency or when your partner indicates he or she wants the activity to stop.

One other important thing the both of you have to agree upon too is that the sexual play should immediately stop the moment one of you lets the other know that he or she is uncomfortable with whatever you are doing.  Agree on a signal and stop immediately once that signal is given.

Since you or you and your partner are new to the bondage theme, you can try to use vibe virgins, it would be wise to start out slow and  simple during your first few tries at this type of sexual play.  This will also allow the both of you to “get your feet wet” and see how the both of you like it.

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Advice For Women On Oral Sex

Women like men to go down. Men should do it right, but not all men have that knack. Sometimes men cannot satisfy women the way they want to be satisfied. Women do like when their dirty wishes come true.

The best ways to get things done the way you want is by telling your male partner what you want. Some women are afraid to do this. Others are a little shy. For women, if they haven’t try to do oral, they can practice this using classic vibrators. But it’s time to do some serious talking to your partner if he doesn’t please the hot spots right. The problem is that men cannot read what’s in your mind so you would have tell them what to do. While it is common that men please you using their tongues and lips (other than through osculation), sometimes they may be a bit reluctant.

If your husband or boyfriend has qualms then there are two things you can do. First, check out the privates. If it looks as though there’s a lush bush thingy going on or something, do something. Just as you won’t go down on him if his thingy is covered in wild growth of bush, chances are he won’t do to you either. So get those pubes nicely trimmed. A nice shave would also do the clean trick.

Don’t be too preoccupied with how your genitals look like. If it doesn’t look like the one’s you see in porn movies, that’s because each woman has a unique anatomy. The vulva’s appearance varies from one girl to another, just as different men do have different penile looks. If men afraid to have an oral sex with the girl, they can have an alternate way! Men can use g spot vibes to their partner to have a perfect orgasm.

Have you been thinking of buying an intimate wash because you’re worried that the sweet spots don’t smell sweet after all? Now, we cannot tell you to stop using them. But mind you, your vagina does have a natural secretion of fluids that act like a male “turn-on”. Washing your intimate zones too frequently can be not so ok after all. Stop living in the delusion that your vagina must smell like perfume. It won’t. Fact is that this hot zone is a self-maintaining organ, capable of cleaning itself most especially during arousal when it secretes lots of clear fluid. That natural odor could actually make your man go crazy over your sweet, lovely spot.

Do not hesitate to tell him to go slow or fast when you feel he should do so. Cunnilingus is actually an excellent way to stimulate the clitoris. It’s better for clitoral stimulation than intercourse is.

Don’t forget that while oral sex may be a little safer than intercourse, you should still use some protection like dental dams. This is safer like you are playing with  fun vibes. Women should not get pregnant on an oral sex. If you don’t like to use these devices, then make sure you are both healthy.

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